Retro Post: Proverbs

Since Geocities is pretty much useless, I will finally start to transfer everything over to the blog. First up is The Rick vs. Proverbs. I wrote this post during the Summer of 2004. For those who have never seen it, have fun, and if you have read it before, take a stroll down Memory Lane.

You know all those "wise" things people say to try to cheer you up sometimes...They Suck. So I figured I should do something about it. CAUTION: I am retarded so this can get messy

Showing boring, played out cliche's who's boss since sometime last week

Don't count your chickens before they hatch: Buy a dozen eggs, count em, there's 12, now eat them

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush: Personally I'd rather have two hands in the bush b/c then you know that bush is a keeper. Plus a bird in the hand would definitely poop on you

A penny saved is a penny earned: A penny saved makes you a jew

Don't cry over spilt milk: Yea unless it's rare Cambodian Breast Milk, I only drink the finest milk

Don't spit into the wind: Mar that goes for urine too I would assume

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water: Yea don't be ignorant, that’s poopie work

Half a loaf is better than no bread: Tell that to John Bobbit

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again: If at first you don't succeed, give up it wasn't worth it in the first place

One man's meat is another man's poison: Yea it is dumbass, I'm not gonna touch any other guy's meat

One swallow doesn't make a summer: Oh yes it does, it would make my summer, but I guess multiple swallows would be better

Practice makes Perfect: But nobody's perfect so why practice

The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach: Or his penis

The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice: I'm not touching that one

Loose lips sink ships: Yea and they also get pregnant and get diseases

Killing two birds with one stone: Do the two birds have to be flying? So you would have to throw a stone into the air and hit one bird on the way up and then as gravity takes over the stone hits another bird on the way down. That's unlikely but I'd like to see it. However would it count if you caught two birds and tied them both to the stone and threw the stone in the ocean?

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander: Kirin Ichiban (I miss Walter)

Dead as a door nail: A door nail was never alive therefore you can't be as dead as one

What ever can go wrong will go wrong: The first half of the Cincimino Effect

If the father is a frog, the son will be a frog: The son will be a prince you idiot, hasn't mother goose taught you anything

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence: Just move the fence and you'll be all set

Two heads are better than one: Since I have two heads I know for a fact it's not better than one. Each one thinks it know more than the other. And the one that makes the decisions usually gets me in trouble, maybe because he only has one eye.....