SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 4
7:12 Rick gets off the bus in Nyack 13 hours before the scheduled departure time of 8:00 AM. He and Ostrowe are heading to Maryland for a BBQ at the Casa de Jurgen on Sunday followed by the Maryland-Navy game on Monday. But first thing is first. Dinner at Posa. Rick is stoked.
7:30 Rick hasn't had Posa since moving to the city. It is so good it gives him a "brain idea." Leave Rockland ASAP. Drive through Phily. Stop at Pat's. Eat Cheesesteaks. Continue driving until we get tired. If we need to get a hotel, so be it. It will break up the trip nicely, plus we get cheesesteaks. Everyone wins!
7:31 Ostrowe immediately accepts the idea and they head out to run some errands before leaving. Rick finishes his second slice on the run. Estimated departure time: 9:30
7:35 Rick tries to convince Dmo and Mar to meet us there. Dmo is in AC winning millons with Hutter, Mar in LBI banging slimmies. Neither one is any shape to drive to Philly.
7:37 Stop at Pathmark to get a cooler. Rick has a second "Brain Idea." Insists on getting M&M Pretzel and M&M Peanut Butter and eating them together. Pathmark is lacking in the M&M department despite having giant signs on each register promoting the pretzel incarnation
8:00 Stop by Ostrowe's Mom's house to move a recliner (attempt #2)
8:30 Recliner moved to Nyack. Ostrowe packs. He fills his overnight bag and realizes he doesn't have enough room. He puts the packed overnight bag as is into a larger bag. So meta
9:03 Leaving 27 minutes before estimated time. (Ed. Note: This is what we needed. We need some spice in our life. We don't do thing like this anymore. Is it because we are adults, or is it beacuse we got smarter?)
9:06 Ostrowe can't wait until the bottles of Bud Light Lime in the trunk break and his clothes get soaked
9:11 Ostrowe: I don't even know if I need energy drink. I'm adrenalized. I've got fucking amenergy"
9:22 Stop at the Montvale Service station for Ostrowe gets a 5 Hour Energy. Rick goes with a Monster, and M&Ms Pretzels & M&M Peanut Butter. Success!
9:25 Rick tries to mix the M&Ms in the little bags. They go everywhere. He finds a Shop Rite bag in the back seat and mixes the M&Ms in the bag. His mixture is just as dreamy as he dreamed in the dream he dreamed at 7:37
9:26 Things are officially cuppy
9:30 So God, (Ed. Note: I assume I was commenting that the M&Ms were so good, but I kinda like how it looks like I was writing a letter to God but got stuck after the opening. What do you say to God anyway?)
9:35 Rick cracks open the Monster. (Foreshadowing!)
9:38 Ostrowe texting while driving next to a state trooper. Still not as bad of an idea as this trip.
9:41 Rick almost does a bird call. Maybe he didn't need the energy drink. My teeth hurt (Ed. Note: Wow it only took 6 minutes for that caffeine to hit me. I also like the multiple tenses used. Also, please note that after not seeing Joyce for 2 months, I started to become him. No homo)
9:49 "Baby I Like It" comes on. Business picks up. This will be the first of many times this song plays
9:54 (Unfiltered thoughts put on paper ahead) People should hire us to DJ their shit. We are awesome
9:56 Your Love is My Drug is about bearded mar
9:59 Ostrowe downs 5 hour energy. Wheeeeeeeeee. He proceeds to throw it in the backseat ala Stone Cold
10:00 (More of Rick's Inner Monologue) I'm having trouble spelling ostrowe. And I also decided to switch to first person. Halucinating heart attack
10:09 Who would win in a battle of the bands. Infant Sorrow or Sex Bob-omb
10:13 Text from Rick to a coworker: I'm hopped up on goofballs. Goofballs = Monster Energy + M&Ms Pretzel and PB combined
10:21 (Rick's Inner Monologue) Le France soy ugly. What? I've got the shakes
10:23 (Rick's Inner Monologue) This is why I don't drink. I can't even control myself on Monster
10:37 Fond memories of the sandal suite are shared. Burping is not delicious
10:38 Ostrowe is a pizza sprinter. Rick is a pizza marathoner
10:45 Almost 2 hours into our journey and Rick still feels like this is a great idea. Ostrowe is confident we will make it to Rockville. They only hope someone is awake
10:46 It feels great to be back in running diary mode
10:54 Both Rick and Ostrowe need to destroy toilets. Damn the Walt Whitman station for being just beyond the exit for Philly. What are the odds? This car is going to stink
10:56 Rick thinks they should stop at a hotel just to use the toilet in the lobby
11:12 The car can taste Pats!
11:20 Drive by: "Tham Mi Vein Spa" That loosely translates to "Happy Ending"
11:23 PATS!
11:30 Buy $80 worth of cheesesteaks. Rick and Ostrowe each buy 4. The Philly asshole behind the counter is not happy. They don't even bother to help us with to-go bags (Ed. Note: It's not we were the last guys in line. And it's not they they specially make each cheesesteak.)
11:40 Back on the road with cheesesteaks in our guts. Ostrowe is reenergized and proclaims we will be making it to Rockville, MD
11:48 Is there a nice part of Philly. No. Ostrowe's GPS sucks. It may have been made by rapists
11:54 Passing the John Heinz refuge park or something of the sort. He invented the ketchup bottle
11:57 Can't wait for no one in Rockville to be awake. We are going to have to sleep in the car
11:58 The gum does nothing. NOTHING. There's cheesesteak everywhere. It's in my raccoon wounds
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 5
12:00 Happy Sunday
12:08 Fireworks. If we were to buy them and put them in the truck with the cheesesteaks the fuses would be lit by the steaks fumes
12:12 Looking forward to the new and improved Delaware rest stop. They are going to need to close it again when we are done
12:22 Double the amount of time in Delaware. Crashing hard. 2 miles to rest stop
12:29 Delaware rest big improvement over the old one. Although, being that the old one had a total score of Negative 29, it wasn't hard to top
12:33 No cell service in the Delaware rest area. After leaving the bathroom Rick gets a water and a Wild Cherry Pepsi
12:37 Ostrowe is died in the bathroom.
12:38 Reason 3546 Why Delaware Sucks: They are playing Gray's Anatomy on the TVs at the rest stop
12:51 Philly has no redeeming qualities. Kinda like Delaware
12:52 Rise Against is loaded into the CD player. Business picks up
1:04 The Late M&M Mystery Bag
1:06 My burps are awful. Monster + M&Ms Pretzel + Cheesesteak + M&Ms Peanut Butter + Wild Cherry Pepsi
1:10 Hope someone waits up for us. Sleeping in the car would be a disaster. Cheesesteak flatulence mixed with cheesesteaks
1:17 Much debate about where we are staying. Jim$ and Jenn staying at Jenn's parents place which is about 25 minutes closer than Jurgen's. Jim$ claims he will stay up for cheesesteak. Jurgen says the same thing. Poppers and the O'Neill's are still at the bar
1:21 Bel Air and Edgewood are the same exit off of 95. Could be Ostrowe new favorite exit in the world. It's a sign.
1:23 I don't remember the last time I had this much caffeine in m veins. I can't see straight
1:25 (Rick's Inner Monologue) Ostrowe likes eating pizza in a bowl
1:26 (Flight of the Conchords) "If had known you weren't gay I would have spent a lot less time with Jermaine"
1:27 (More FotC) "I sometimes grow a beard"
"It looks glued on"
"Yea some times I glue it on"
1:30 Ostrowe: "It's fucking 1:30. What the hell were we thinking"
Rick: "I'm at the Jersey Shore bitch"
Ostrowe: "I'm at the Jersey Shore bitch"
1:43 Two guys signing along to slow Rise Against songs in a car at 1:43 in the morning while both are drinking Wild Cherry Pepsi is pretty gay. We should make this a commercial.
1:50 Passing Glen Bernie/Annapolis. Hey Joyce, Bernie said your Bean Dip sucked
1:53 Passing Ellicott City. If we were staying with Jim$ and Jenn we'd be there by now
2:01 GTL Bitches. Beat that beat up
2:03 Ok. Two guys signing and fist pumping to Jason Derulo may be gayer
2:08 495 Bitches. The homestretch
2:21 How's Korean Korner?
2:22 Don't piss off Ostrowe after he's been driving for 5 hrs. He is an angry driver
2:23 Recent updates are lacking. I can't even....words
2:32 CASA DE JURGEN! Ostrowe opens the trunk and is knocked over the the stench of cheesesteaks. It stings the nostrils
2:38 The kitchen smells like cheesesteak already and they are in the fridge in a drawer
2:58 The Poppers Mansion tour is gentlemanly. He turns on the living room light and Goon and Jurgen are out cold. They don't even flinch. Rick passes out in the office suite
6:39 Rick wakes up from cheesesteak shizing dreams...no wait...nightmares
6:40 Jurgen finds Ostrowe in his bed and Rick on the floor of the office. Asks why they didn't share the bed
6:41 Rick looks at clock and hopes it is not really 6:41
7:21 Rick wakes up confused again after a long dream about waking up
7:30 Rick wishes he could nap on the toilet
7:31 The Rick's tenses are all fucked up. I need to sleep
7:35 (Rick's Inner Monologue)In a related story I feel like death
7:47 Ostrowe: "Prelude to a massive schize sounds like a work by Edgar Allen Poe"
7:49 (Rick's Inner Monologue) I think I have a caffeine hangover. I am pathetic. I also need to stop whining
7:53 (Rick's Inner Monologue) Drinking water while laying down is amazing. Thanks peristalsis.
7:59 (Rick's Inner Monologue) My flatulence might drive me out of couch cushions
8:11 I throw my hands up in the air sometimes singing eh-oh
8:35 Jurgen "I need to get an Eddie O. He does dishes on demand. I heard Peg say something about dishes, and now they are done. Eddie O is domesticated"
8:42 Peg's French Toast Casserole made coming last night worth it. What a great idea to complement this amazing breakfast
8:52 Goon's Pick-Up Line "How much does a Polar Bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi I'm John"
9:03 Peg: What's wrong with her, she doesn't She doesn't look bad.....oh
9:10 Peg says Cole is a good dog, he growls at her
9:24 Peg: "I want to be in one of your videos Rick....with Jmac" (Eddie O Double Takes)
9:24 Ostrowe: Jared Leto is a good actor (Eddie O laughs)
9:46 9:00P is the O/U for Goon's GotY nomination
9:50 Ostrowe is fidgety
10:06 Cole is disrespecting Goon's clothes
10:19 Goon does the Terry Dance
10:23 Ostrowe is wearing the most American shirt of all time. Americans flags over the Declaration of Independence
10:35 Lot of couch sitting. Rick is DJing. Goon demands Poison (meaning the band), Rick plays Bell Biv Devoe. Goon then demands Conway Twitty
10:45 Peg calls us Neanderthals and tells Ostrowe to take out the trash
11:01 Rick takes a pic in the kitchen. Eddie O is yelled at for almost burning the place down. Rick explains that it was just the flash
11:02 Ostrowe punching out to Baby I Like It
11:48 Alexa Ray Joel comes on. Goon gets excited thinking Faith is on. Her Google image page is horrifying
11:52 Watching Ghostbusters. Everyone agrees that Sigourney Weaver was asking for chair rape. She took her pants off and sat on the chair. Goon "The chair is only human"
12:20 Peg chops up the chesesteak and serves us sliders. Rick and Ostrowe don't want to look at them. Ostrowe grabs one anyway. Peg is helping out her GWotY ballot
12:56 Peg "Jim$ is so rich"
1:20 Chair rape debate Part 2. If you could chair rape anyone who would you chair rape. Ostrowe: "Do you think they warned her about the possibility of chair rape when she bought the chair"
1:43 Airheads wins Netflix instant stream battle
2:05 Joe Mantegna looks like half a butt puppet
2:35 Jurgen has never seen Airheads
2:50 There is a baby at our party. We are old
3:04 Jim$ and Jenn arrive. The gang is all here
3:23 BP just showed up out of nowhere. "I came in the back door" That is his MO. He comes in the back door
4:30 Badminton and Cornhole setup. Jurgen is a great host
5:56 The badminon match of the century. The Power Couple (PC) of Jenn and Jim$ vs. The Moderately Awesome Couple (MAC) of Peg & Eddie O. The PC wins
Note: I have no clue what times the following things occurred.
Jim$ does his best Rafiki imitation and holds a baby over his head
Crasher Jim$
Running diary dies
Escapar, Baby I Like It, & Pauly D played 40 times
Goon: "I'm gonna put this whole town in my rearview"
Everyone in attendance had the Jill Kelly/Jenna Jameson lesbian porn scene (SFW Pic) on their computer at one point. The two of them started out eating dinner at a fancy restaurant then took things to the bathroom
Peg does NOT like public bathroom porn.
Ostrowe says he hasn't seen professional porn since High School. Jim$ calls bullshit
Ostrowe's go to scene is FTA
Ostrowe proclaims that Summer Girls is an even worse song than Notice Me. Everyone disagrees
Goon is couch raped by Jim$
Jurgen's friends come over and we try to fit in with them. When Rick asks if there are any music requests, Ostrowe asks for the Humpty Dance. Poppers then puts on Chappelle's Show
Jurgen's friends leave
Jim$ feeds Ostrowe Ron Ron Juice. It spills everywhere but Ostrowe does an amazing job of not dripping on the flag
11:40 Put on animal house for Jim$ and Jenn
11:45 Jim$ and Jenn leave
11:50 Switch to anchorman. Back to the basics
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 6
12:10 Everyone passes out
9:00 Restart anchorman
9:53 Hype machine working for Ostrowe's shize behind the double doors.
9:54 Ostrowe comes out: "That shize was not the event"
10:35 Ostrowe doesn't really beat up the beat, he stirs the beat. Maybe more of a puree
10:50 Leave for the game
11:10 Eddie O and Peg are not adept at posing for the paparazzi yet. Jim$ and Jenn are pros. That is why they are the Power Couple.
11:41 Amazing how Class of 2012 Naval officers seem infinitely older than us. If we went to the Naval Academy life how different would our life be? Completely Opposite right?
11:45 Peg is the food MVP of the weekend. French Toast Cassarole. Cheesesteak sliders
11:46 Is that James Franco?
12:07 Peg does not recommend pants shizing on the first date
12:08 Peg and Lauren are tired of being the only girls of Nubbinsville so they are just going to make their own
12:15 Peg makes us play erotic photo hunt. Version 2.0 is 10x better than the Fitzy's version
12:18 Rick: "At least they (the naval officers) are white and not black...the uniforms I mean"
Ostrowe: "That was the most racist thing said all weekend"
12:20 Is that Tom Cruise?
12:38 Jason is methodical. Goon pops Poppers in the face with the flag
12:40 Little O is a gent. You can equate everyone is his crew to a person in Nubbinsville
12:58 Jason sells his tickets to Antoine Dodson
1:02 Dunn has Tuberculosis. Literally
1:10 Is that James Franco?
1:15 The dynamic shifts (Ed. Note: I think this is when Heather showed up. But I don't know why it changed)
1:21 Dmo! And Hutter!
3:17 2 hours of things happened
3:28 Hutter: "I was menstruating out of my mouth"
3:45 Gentlemen split up
3:47 Eddie O and Peg beat Jim$ and Jenn in a paparazzi off.
3:52 How's Johnny Unitas
4:00 Poppers, Rick, & BP do a full lap around the stadium. Didn't find the ticket window
4:55 Is that James Franco?
5:05 Hutter lost his shoe
5:18 Hutter lost his shoe
5:21 Terp Fans boo Navy. Bad form. You can't boo The Navy
5:35 Hutter asks old lady "Do you know what that is?" Refering to the police tracking bracelet around some guys ankle.
6:36 O/U on time arriving home: 1:30A
7:00 James Franco & Tom Cruise lose.
7:27 Peg: "OMG Eddie O we should have twins. Look how much fun they are having"
Eddie O: "Yeah" (Keeps walking)
7:30 Plebe Jurgen
7:38 Saw a Naval cadet roll his ankle. First time I ever saw a Naval cadet do something imperfect
Peg: He's going to get kicked out of school
8:29 Freshens might be one of my top 3 favorite eateries in the world
8:56 Peg: Cheese Whiz has its place in the world and that is on a cheesesteak
9:08 Txt from Ostrowe: "Its great that out of all the places the event schize could have come out, it chose to wait till I got to Heather's apartment. Picciniched"
10:29 Peg wakes up. For a second.
11:15 Home! (Under Wins)
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