An American Gentleman in Vancouver

My road to Vancouver started at 5:00 PM ET on Saturday February 6. Dmo and I had just left Mt. Snow on our way back to NY. Our "romantic" trip to the bed and breakfast was behind us (as was the pillow wall). The following is a half-assed running diary of the events that followed.

9:00 PM ET - Dmo drops me off at the Tarrytown train station
10:15 PM ET - Walk into the Highgate and without taking a breath I drop all my gear and head down to the laundry room.
10:25 PM ET - Stop by Starbucks for a White Hot Chocolate (The Captain of Hot Chocolates) and then head to CVS to pickup a few things I need. They have just replaced the cashiers with those awesome self checkout machines that render humans pointless. This may sway me to revoke my allegiance to Duane Reade and become a CVSer.
10:37 PM ET - Start trying to figure out how to pack for a 22 day trip. /Looks at itinerary and realizes I can check two bags for free. I think to myself "F it" as I fit as much clothes as I can into my two biggest suitcases.
11:05 PM ET - Laundry done. Packing done. Boy it's great to be a guy
11:55 PM ET - Kim comes over and gives me a much needed massage.
Bedtime
Sunday February 7
6:51 AM ET - Wake up. Go to make breakfast, but realize I don't have any food. The last time I went to the supermarket all I bought was a banana for a smoothie and a roll for a sandwich. The cashier proceeded to make fun of me asking if I was having a banana sandwich for dinner
7:45 AM ET - Take a walk with Kim as she gets her morning coffee
8:00 AM ET - Car service picks me up and we head to LGA
8:15 AM ET - Check in at Air Canada and use my passport for the first time ever. Sadly I need to leave my antlers behind.
8:20 AM ET - In the words of Homer Simpson the missionary: OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
8:21 AM ET - My mini panic attack is over and I am once again excited
8:33 AM ET - Through security. Only 2.5 hours till my flight. I really need to work on my timing better....
11:00 AM ET - Board the plane and immediately hear my first "Eh"
11:02 AM ET - There are four seats in each row on this plane. A C D F. Makes perfect sense
11:10 AM ET - After the announcements are made, they are repeated in French. I chuckle to myself. I am no where near mature enough for international travel
11:50 AM ET - Touch down in the Great White North. My first time leaving the country and I haven't exploded yet.....or been called a stupid American
12:10 PM ET - Canadian Customs is intimidating. It's like waiting in line for Space Mountiain
12:20 PM ET - Through customs and luckily I see someone wearing an NBC Olympics jacket. I fall in line behind her hoping at least she knows where she is going
12:50 PM ET - Make it to my next gate. The only thing I know about Canadian money is that a dollar coin is a Looney and a two dollar coin is a Tooney.
1:00 PM ET - I've been in Canada for over an hour now and I haven't seen or heard anything about Degrassi yet. This is horseshit
1:10 PM ET - Check out the vending machine. Dill pickle chips? Ketchup Chips? Big Turk bars? Where the heck am I
1:30 PM ET - French announcements make me laugh again. I am a stupid American
1:40 PM ET - Take off from Montreal
2:00 PM ET - Syracuse and Cincinnati are tipping off right now and I can't see it. This is not good. I am dying right now. Each seat has it's own TV, but there is no live TV available. I settle for "A Serious Man"
2:05 PM ET - A really weird opening scene just finishes and I wonder if I picked the right movie. The opening credits then confirm that I did. WTF?
2:15 PM ET - I turn on my computer to see if this plane has wi-fi in hopes of being able to watch ESPN360. It does not. GD IT
3:00 PM ET - I secretly turn on my phone (illegally) to see if I can find out what the score is. I don't have any service. The plane suddenly veers off course
3:01 PM ET - Kidding. Gotcha Zozo
3:40 PM ET - The movie ends....what the hell did I just watch?
3:41 PM ET - My TV is now frozen on a black screen and no buttons are working. Great. Now I get to spend 3.5 hours hoping Syracuse doesn't lose. This sucks
4:05 PM PT - Land in Vancouver. Syracuse won! Thank god.
5:35 PM PT - The first half of the Super Bowl is over, and I am just now getting to my hotel. I drop off my stuff and run over to the Pan Pacific for the NBC Super Bowl Party. The 4 blocks of this city that I have seen so far are amazing. Hope I get a chance to explore it. I have been told to stay away from Downtown East. In CoG terms, if I go there, Hooks will steal my camera.
7:40 PM PT - Get back to my room and unpack. It's going to be a long 21 days. I start tomorrow at 9A PT. May the god bless you forever.
Here is a walking tour of my room for your enjoyment:

Delta Vancouver Suites from Gentlemanly Productions on Vimeo.