Week 4 - Black Sunday

During week two I neglected to keep the tradition of the Bailey Log going and it was a bad call. Last week, I was half dead, that was also a bad call, and I was unable to keep a week three log. This week I made a triumphant return and of course the Skins were on a bye week and only one handsome quarterback was playing on Sunday. Don't call it a comeback:

I got a late start today. I was finishing up the tailgate movie so by the time I pulled into the parking lot at Baileys it is already 1:45. I walk into Baileys and Moro, Daryl and Annoying guy are sitting at a table and SARS is sitting at the bar.

Moro points my attention to the Mets game where the score is 7-0 in the bottom of the first. The Mets do not have 7.

When I ask where Dmo is Moro points at an empty chair. In Moroese this means Dmo is downstairs.

In my first excursion to the Baileys basement, I don't really know what to expect. However, when I get there I am pleasantly surprised. It is a quaint, grotto like setting. The only negative aspect is that right now it is filled with Cowboys fans.

Dmo looks like he is going to kill himself as Tony Romo throws an interception. Did I mention Dmo is a die hard Mets fan?

I go back upstairs but can only stay there for five minutes. SARS and I decide to relocate downstairs. I tell Daryl on the way down, but unfortunately he seems to be stuck upstairs.

Ever since week one Ostrowe has been craving the Table Buster for Four. He and SARS are down, but I am not that big a fan of BBQ meats. Dmo may never eat again, so the two of them try to recruit others to share their table buster. No takers.

The Table Buster is like the Super Bowl two years ago for Peyton Manning. One day they will get it.

Perhaps they will let them purchase the Table Buster in installment plans. Not Money wise. Ostrowe and SARS are willing to pay for it all this week, but only receive half of the meat now, and half of the meat at a date to be determined.

Dante Hall just returned a punt for a TD. The Cowboys fans have become deathly ill....I mean silent. In a related story, non-Cowboys fans are shocked Hall is on the Rams let alone in the league.

∫ I just accidentally types this here symbol to the left. It is pretty cool looking. It's kinda like the Heroes Godsend symbol.

The guy upstairs is the godfather of obnoxious humans.

Romo just had a ridiculous run. This is going to lead to a lot of references to his grandma.

Jersey Steve makes his first Baileys appearance. Literally this is how he introduced himself. He tells us that he has been going to Pieman for 25 years because he likes the bartender. Jesus Christ. This is the type of person that I never want to become. PS I wonder what this chick looks like now after 25 years of being hounded by Jersey Steve.

We all know that I chew my straws, but what SARS gets a Sprite and I throw my chewed up straw into it no one wins.
How about dem Cowboys fans. They must think the Cowboys never go offsides. They almost ripped the TV off the wall.

Cowboys fan are always the first ones to call for a horse collar tackle. That's because they invented it.

3:1 Odd that these Cowboys fans only have Cowboys on their fantasy teams. Every play the Cowboys make someone screams, "That's fantasy points for me!"

Ostrowe: Do you think Daryl is still sitting upstairs or did he kill himself?

The Jets have turned losing into an art form. They find fantastic ways to lose each week.

Soon after Ostrowe ventures upstairs, SARS and I follow suit. Ostrowe is startled at how easily SARS can sneak up on you.

Two misplaced guys walk into Baileys in suits and ties.

As the Browns game is finishing we notice the token Baileys Brown fan sitting at the bar cheering the Browns victory. Two weeks ago this guy could have been an entire post himself. While the Browns were busy in their shootout with the Bengals, he was screaming various obscenities at the television. The highlight was: "If the Browns lose this game I am going to shoot everyone in the bar. But I am going to start with myself so no one else has to get hurt." Pupino might grow up to be this guy.

Bah, who am I kidding Pupino is already dead.

Joining Pupino beyond the grave is Cadillac Williams. His career may be over in which case he can change his last name to ElDorado.

SARS is the godfather of leaving the bar early to pick up a player who had a good game on the waiver wire.

Also at Baileys this week is Eddie C. Ostrowe knows him from the liquor store. I know him from RCC. In short, everything we SAY about Jim$ is actually true about Eddie C. There literally is a helicopter outside waiting to pay everyone's bill.

If Tom Brady's head were to fall off during MNF this week, Tony Kornheiser and the rest of the booth would automatically start to talk like a 50's newsreel. Oh the tragedy.

SARS: People who drive Civics are douchebags
Rick: Hey I drive a Civic!

Ostrowe: I wish (that guy in the) Chad (Pennington Jersey) would move (so I could see some side boob)
Rick: Just throw something at him
SARS: You know he wouldn't be able to throw it back

After that comment I am going to call it a day. I am still winded from yesterday. Stay Classy Baileys